if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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