She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
