Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm like, not good at living.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
