I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
