Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
