We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
