I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
