I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
