Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
