I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
