everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
