How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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