Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
