i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
