he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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