Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
