i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
