So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
