overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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