What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
