Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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