Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
