I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he was CRYING into my vagina
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
