I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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