Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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