dude i'm inner monologue high
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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