i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
