You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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