I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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