Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
