His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
