I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
