Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
