On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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