She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
