I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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