i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
