I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
