We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
