Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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