i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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