she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
