I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
