thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
