Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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