so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
