I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
