Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Semen is not good for contacts.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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