But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
