Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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