i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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