who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Randomize
